The Time...

April 8, 2011, Friday, in the morning, my mom’s birthday, I was the one in-charge cooking my favorite pasta, carbonara – ang problema di ko makakain pano kasi I’ll try not to eat meat ‘pag Friday. Etong taon ko lang ginawa kaya gusto ko matupad ko sya. Naluto ko naman yung pasta di pala ko ang nagluto si Tosh pala. Hehehe… Kasi malamang pag ako ang nagluto kakain at kakain talaga ko.. Sayang nga sana tuna na lang ang hinalo ‘di yung ham at bacon. But its okay kasi healthy naman ang gulay at isda. Di ko hilig pero nagustuhan ko sya. Lalo na yung kamansi at may pritong galunggong. Sarap.

April 9 - 10, 2011, Outing ng office. Maganda sa Bagac, Bataan, nataon pa na Araw ng Kagitingan kaya masaya talaga. Ang daming sumama sa mga pamilya ng mga ka officemates ko. As usual picture taking na walang humpay. Dun din nag celebrate ng birthday ni Michelle, anak ni Wie-wie, officemate ko. Katuwa kasi ang daming bata may mga balloons ba at party hats. Hehehe. Kulang ang time kasi two days lang pero ayos na din at naging mapayapa naman ang outing na yun. Hirap din pala maging tagahawak ng budget para sa outing nakakastress. Pano palaging bit-bit mo yung bag mo. Kaya next time ‘yoko na humawak nun.

April 14, 2011, Pumunta kami ni Tosh sa Divisoria para bumili ng tela para sa sayal ng karosa. Kasi ilang araw na lang holy week na. Busy na naman. Nakabili naman kami 35 per yard. Ayos na din. Tawad ako ng tawad na 25 na lang kasi sabi nila mga ganun lang talaga presyo ng tela dun saka ten yards naman bibilin namin. Kaso wala ayaw talaga eh. NOC – No other choice hehehehe. April 15, Sa office, deadline ng Income Tax. Okay na yun kasi March pa lang nagawa na, umuwi na rin kami sa Pampanga. Start na ng holy week kasi two days na lang. April 16, Pumunta kami sa Guagua, para bumili ng mga ilang kakailanganin para sa okasyon. Magastos, pero ayos naman. Sila mama at Joey boy naman nagasikaso ng generator til now ala pa din kasi silang sariling generator na gagamitin sa prusisyon. Balak naming bumili kaso napagkasunduan na wag na lang muna. Mahirap na bumili ng mumurahin baka di kayanin. Eh ang sakit pa naman nila eh yung paging namamatayan ng ilaw. Wish nga namin na sana may mag donate nun. Sana nga meron.

April 17, 2011, Palm Sunday, 5:00am preparing to go to church. 6am ang start ng celebration. Start siguro ng mga 630am yun. Cute ng Hosana. Ang galing kasi mga batang babae nagpaparticipate para kumanta at mag represent na maging angels. Ang cute lalo na pag nagsasaboy na ng flower. Mejo comedy kasi mga bata eh. Pagdating sa La Consolacion church nagbendisyon ng palaspas at nag start na ang mass. Ang gospel tungkol kay Simon ng sirenea at kay pilato na naghugas kamay na kung ano man ang magiging hatol kay Hesus. Di ko lahat naintindihan, pero na-appreciate ko sya. Lalo na yung mga choir ng simbahan. Pula nag tema ng simbahan, si father naka pula. Pero ang choir wala ka naka yellow. Hehehehe.. Pero bilib talaga ko sa kanila.. Ang galing After ng simba nagluto sila ng favorite ko na galing pa sa puno ang Kamansi.. sarap… walang may gusto magluto kasi hirap daw balatan… ayoko din naman na magbalat… pero gaya ng dati nagluto pa din.. hehehe.. together with my favorite fish galunggong na pinirito.. sayang alang talong. Sarap ng kainan lalo na pag sabay-sabay kayo… Sobrang init ng araw na yun. 35 degrees daw. Mga 2:30pm tulog sila sa kaka kinig ng station of the cross na gagamitin din sa prusisyon na ginawa ko. Ako di makatulog kasi grabe sobrang init talaga sa kubo.

My Christmast Gift...

Two days na lang at nasa bagong work na ako. It was really a great deal having a work that make you feel comfortable but sometimes meron talagang time na you always want to explore and do things that satisfy your needs or to move on to a much better career. Totoo yun di ba? Pero it does not mean na ganun ang nature ng tao – ang magsawa. Nataon lang talaga may mas magandang opportunity na dumating at kelangang i-grab.

That day, I woke up thinking on how my life would be kung ganto lang ako. Naisip ko din na I’m not happy sa work ko at sa kung ano ginagawa ko sa trabaho ko. Tamad na tamad ako nung time na yun. But a message from my phone bang me… “Jef, mag-apply ka na kay George Lee” galing sa boss ko sa dating work ko, just a click… I dressed up then yun deretso sa interview. Asa LRT ako napansin ko na aba aba tagal ko ding di nag formal attire. Namiss ko to nasabi ko sa sarili ko. Ibang-iba ako nun pakiramdam ko. Di ako naka t-shirt o naka pang raged na porma. Yung formal black shoes ko naisuot ko ulit. Iba talaga yung araw na yun.

On my way, before the elevator opens, sabi ko aha eto na makikita ko araw-araw. Ganun naman talaga pag pakiramdam mo na okay ka sa place eh. Parang attach ka na at feeling at home agad. Ayan, antay ko na ang interview, Chinese si Ma’am at mukang mabait. Di naman ako nagkamali, sobrang bait nya pero syempre nagkatawaran sa kung magkano ang magiging salary… Parang sa Divisoria lang nga eh no? Pero sumakto na rin naman. Hehehe.. Super English ang gamit ko na salita baka kako kc di ako maintindihan pag tagalong. Aba.. akalain mo mahusay pala sya magtagalog.. Napahiya ako konti pero ayos lang kasama naman talaga sa interview ang may konting humor para di boring. After, uwi na may ngiti sa labi.

Kinabukasan, tumawag at start na nga daw. Dun namn ako nagkaproblema pano di ko malaman kung pano ko magpapaalam sa work ko na aalis na ako. One week would be my last chance to tell them at sobrang nahirapan ako dun. Pero in Gods way naging smooth naman din. Naisip ko din na bukod sa mga friends at sa mga minamahal ko na anjan palagi ang gift na binigay ni God sakin eh yung bigyan ako ng lakas to make feel okay kahit sumobra daming problem this year.

Advance Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all… and may the Lord bless us with a delightful and cheerful holiday to come…. Salamat….

Autobiography of Five Birds

Bird 1 : I walk down the street there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless.
It isn't my fault...
It takes forever to find a way out...

Bird 2 : I walk down the same street there is a deep hole in the sidewalk...
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in.again I can't believe.
I'm in the same place but it isn't my fault...
It takes a long time to get out...

Bird 3 : I walk down the street there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there. I still fall in. It's a habit but my eyes are open.
I know where I am...It is my fault...
I get out immediately...

Bird 4 : I walk down the same street there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it...

Bird 5 : I walk down another street...

"My Cross" by Cain Morales

Title: My Cross
By: Jeffrey “Cain” Morales
Date: September 16, 2009

I am about to fall but then He lift me up
For some time I couldn’t see Him the way other see Him
And for such a long time I ignore Him
This is the reason why I am lost and misunderstood

I am about to lose hope but He reach my hand
For many times He cares for me the way He always do
And for such a long time I betray Him
This is the reason why I am feeling incomplete

I am about to destroy my faith but He knocks at my door
For this time I realize that I need to see Him the way other see Him
And for such a long time I’m proud of being with Him
This is the reason why I am here learning to understand His ways

I am about to say I’ve change but I still have that cross
For this time I don’t know what would make Him understand me
And for such a long time He still forgives me
This is the reason why I love Him for carrying my cross every time I fall in.

Panget Ka Na Nga, Mayabang Ka Pa!!!!

A work out makes me feel better since last night even if got tired from work and got a bad news from our local TV station. The news really affects our life 90%. (Base sa computation ko.. hehehe.. wag ka na umangal basta nacompute ko yan). Ikaw ba? Lumubog na barko? Bahang pataas ng pataas? At ulang walang humpay? Mga deklarasyon ng mga politiko na tatakbo silang president sa 2010? Mga bagong shows sa TV lalo na ang mga dramang panggabi pati na rin ang mga kung sinong bagong number 1 na stasyon? (nub a yan bro, wala na bang iba?) Eto pa malupit, ang LOTTO na di mo malaman kung totoo ba talaga. Mabuti pa ata na sumali ka sa Talentadong Pinoy o kaya sa Kahit Sino Pwede o kaya naman sa mga reality shows kesa tumaya ka sa lotto eh. At least dun mangilan ngilan sa libo-libong sumali ang chance mo para mapili ka, di tulad sa lotto na milyon-milyon ang participant, di ba?

September 09, 2009, morning, a wake up news says that Sen. Ninoy Aquino runs for president this coming 2010 election. No comment naman ako dyan wag lang sanang maramdaman ng tao na baka napilitan lang sya. What I mean is, sana taos talaga sa puso nya na tatakbo sya bilang pangulo hindi pang-gulo lang. Sa totoo ha, naguguluhan ako sa kanila. Meron pang drama effect na magpaparaya ang iba Yung iba naman may mga sikreto pang ibubunyag sa kalabang partido. Ang OA na at nakakasawa na. (eto siguro yung sabi ko na effect ng TV, tulad ng drama sa gabi, nu ba yan bro? hehehe) Balik tayo sa usapin. Nung first time ko nakita si Sen. Noynoy na kapatid ni Kris na anak ng dating presidente Cory Aquino nabilib ako kasi he really have the guts to be a politically become a leader. Sana lang first impressions last. Pero mahirap talaga mamili ng dapat sa pwesto na yan. Kung titingnan mo mabuti halos lahat naman may kanya-kanyang dumi yung iba malupit lang magtago. Saka wag nga masyadong epal yung iba na kung manira kala mo walang dumi. Tulad na lang nito - Ano ba meron sa buhok ni Sen. Noynoy. Okay naman ah. Dun ko sya nakilala at mas gusto ko na ganun ang buhok nya. Walang masama sa itsura nya. Dapat mo lang sigurong tingnan sa salamin muka mo para di tayo masyadong mapanglait na parang mas madumi pa sa daga at mga ipis bahay. Saka bawas bawasan dapat ng iba dyan dumaldal. Puro ka daldal eh ang panget mo. (hehehe… ang tamaan wag magagalit… ) Lakas ko magpayo pero ako mapanglait din eh no? (hehehe) Naasar lang. Sorry bro…


Panget na nga mayabang pa. San ka pa. May tao talagang ganyan di ba? Sabihin mong wala upakan kita. (Joke..hehehe) Sorry bro… Nagkasala na naman ako. Dapat lang kasi i-level nya yung sarili nya. Panget ka na sana naman maging mabait ka naman. Para pantay. (hehehe)Yun naman talaga dapat dito sa mundong ibabaw. Yun ngang may itsura mapanget na pag magyabang eh yung panget pa. Walang exemption pagdating sa ganyan. Magyabang ka na gwapo ka o maganda ka, panget ka pa ring maituturing. Eh pano pa yung panget na mayabang pa. Lupet di ba? Sumpa ang abot nun… Sorry ulit bro…O change topic na tayo, Superferry lumubog? Akalain mo, lumubog. Wala namang bagyo o along sumalubong. Bakit? Di ko rin alam eh. Sensya na. Sila alam yan sigurado pero ang reaction ko lang dyan… AHHHHHHHHHHHHH badtrip buti na lang wala ako dun kasi di ako marunong lumangoy at yoko mawalan ng cellphone, digicam at kung anu-ano pa. Tapos babayaran ka lang ng 11,000 pesos. Nu ba yan bro? Nga naman oh. At kung andun ako malamang isa ko sa 9 na namatay o kaya naman palutang lutang pa din ako ngayon sa dagat. Di kasi talaga ko marunong lumangoy. Kaya talaga ayoko sumakay sa barko. Nga pala after nun saka lang umalan ng malupit na ikinalubog ng buong Luzon. Gaya ng dati ng problema normal na yan. Late na announcement ng kanselasyon ng klase at kung anu-ano pa. Sa ibang bansa nga pag may flash flood tragedy na talaga eh dito satin bago pa dumating yang flood na yan ready na tayo. Kaya maituturing na walang trahedya na dumating kasi nga ready na. Kahit hanggang lampas ulo pa yung tubig. Di na dapat yan pinaguusapan kasi NORMAL na satin yan. Bilib ko kung magagawan ng paraan ng magiging bagong presidente yan o ng mga taong mayayabang dyan. ( LOL.. asar talo ko sa mayabang bro… sorry… )

Unfair ang Upuan...

Namatay na si Michael Jackson, si Dating Pangulong Aquino (ba't yung iba di pa... hehehe-unfair) Nakapag concert na ang Pussycat Dolls, si Lady GaGa. (sila nakapanuod ako hindi-unfair) Dami na ring bagyong dumaan at madami na rin sa atin ang may facebook account . Sa dalawang buwan na di ako nagsulat parang wala namang nabago (unfair.. hehehe.. wala daw?). Pero wag na natin pagusapan yang mga yan merong mas nakakabatong usapin ngayon.. Yung tipong aalis ka na ngayon sa kinakaupuan mo pag narinig mo... (hehehe)

Sometimes life is unfair.... sabi ng karamihan sa atin. But if we think it hard its unfair na sabihin natin na "Life is unfair" (ha?) Oo... Para sakin di tama na sabihin na unfair ang buhay... I believe kasi na kung anong meron at wala ka ngayon eh dahil din yun sa mga iniisip at ginagawa mo ngayon na kung saan yun ang magsasabi na tao ka at bilang tao may kapakanan at kaligayahan ka na dapat isaalang-alang.. Unfair sa mga taong walang ginawa sa buhay kundi magpakasasa sa ginto ng karamihan tapos yung iba naman nangangalirang sa kawalan. Yun un eh.... Tulad na lang ng kinain ng kasalukuyang pangulo sa banyagang bansa... Masasabi ba natin na unfair yun? Sa karamihan malamang unfair yun... Sakin kasi unfair nga yun.. (hehehe... sana kasali ako sa kainan eh)... Ang totoo lahat naman tayo nagkakaron ng chance ng kagaya ng sa kanya.... Although not that too expensive pero meron... Aminin mo na... Okay lang yan... (hehehe.. pilitan to eh..) Pero sa totoo lang ulit, marami talagang taong mapagsamantala. Di na maiiwasan yan... Meron nga.. sa isang jeep may sumakay na isang lalaki ... ganda ng pananamit... kala mo lang senador... yun pala... holdaper... Just want to express that lifes being unfair is not that too dificult to handle.. Asatin lang yan... If we'll be affected then sorry talo ka.. Kawawa ka... Baka nga magka regret ka pa bakit ka pa nagpaapekto...

In two months of working na di ako nagsulat, dami talagang nangyari at nabago sa mundo pero bakit ganun parang sa akin wala namang nabago. Unfair. (hehehe) Meron naman nabago... kaso di lang sing bilis ng facing ng sa iba... Kung baga unti-unti at di biglaan. Kung ano man yun skin na lang yun (hehehe). Pero share ko lang ha... Since then mas naging attach ako sobra sa mahal ko... and i consider it a big change....

Basta sige sige san ba masarap kumain gusto ko yung sa mamahalin... Yung tipong di mo aakalain na yun yung kinain natin... (hehehe... sarapa maging pangulo) Napansin ko pala bakit daming gustong tumakbong pangulo sa 2010 na mga religious sector...Sign na kaya to? Sign na gusto rin nilang kumain sa mamahaling resto? (hahaha!)

Buhay nga naman.... Basta ko magreready sa kung ano pang mangyayari at mababago sa kanila. Para may mapagkwentuhan pa tayo at mapanuod sa mga balitang inexag para mas masaya...(ganun kaya yun para panuorin ng tao, o may natutunan ka na naman hehe) Basta basta ang mahalaga alam mo sa sarili mo na nagbago ka for good di yung katulad ng iba dyan.

Yun lang po....


PS.
Hoy! Wala ko pinapatamaan ha? (LOL)

At Least As I Expect....

The cool breeze of midst from an airplane runs through my fainted face while waiting to take off, I felt nervous and some kind of excited. Leaving in a place where you grow old will surely an adventure for me. It makes me think that I have freedom to do things on to the other side waiting for me. That was all in my mind then. As the plane goes on a take off I see the ground from my window getting smaller and smaller. Quite radical for me to see that view which lingers on me the questions what am I doing here? Why do I need to do this? What kind of world waiting for me on that place? I am alone?

It’s now safe to turn on a laptop which what I’m waiting for ‘cause I really feel dizzy and I think a lot which is not good like crashing the plane and having trouble with my stomach and that would be so disgusting. While the crew remind passengers on those instructions and policies concern regarding the plane and browsing pictures from a laptop I see one which reminds me of something a person that makes my life worthwhile and meaningful and it makes me feel better then. It helps me a lot while flying going to Iloilo for an official business trip.

The midst of air blown out to my face again coming from the plane which indicates that we already arrive at the Iloilo, even though I really don’t know the place I just pretend that I’m no stupid on being there and I have the guts that it would be a nice day for me. I just wait for the others to go out first so I could take some pictures on the plane. (trip ko eh, bakit ba?) Very nice and clean airport out there different from what’s on my mind, the place is really cool and the crews is very hospitable which relaxed me staying on the port. With a smile and thinking I’m now at the place I considered as adventure for me. A hint from my cell phone comes, a text massage says that a van is waiting for me outside that will helps me to go the place where am I heading for. On the van I see the city which is really different again from what I am thinking. At least as I expected. I just wonder on that point that expectation will not always followed you all the time. Expecting on someone or something will never be yours if you aren’t try knowing of the person or the place by merely asking and searching for it. On to the place where I am starting to do my work trip at Iloilo I still had lots of expectation on to the place and to the people I am working with. And as usual, I still didn’t get what I expected.

For any other reason, I felt sadness and loneliness on my part. I don’t know maybe because I expect too much on things. Or maybe I’m just carried away on my first trip to Iloilo. Or maybe I’m alone on the trip. I don’t know then, but I still do the purpose on my trip to audit and help the one in charge on the operation for him to simplify his job and easily understand the way he operates the business. Two days of auditing flows okay and relevant on our part. A day before going back to Manila, I decided to go to Bacolod wherein not a strange place for me baka dun mas okay kasi nga may kasama ako at kakilala na pwede ko masama sa galaan. Bacolod never changes after two years still the city of smiles which is different again for what I am expecting. Ganun pa din, ang mga tao, ang lugar at sa lahat walang nabago. Again for the second time around, naramdaman ko na naman yung lungkot at pagiisa. Ewan ko ba, ang alam ko nung time na yun na gusto ko na umuwi ng Manila. Bigla ko naramdaman yung pagkamiss sa Manila.

Now that I’m back here in Manila I am very much okay. At nadiscover ko din na masayang magtravel kung wala kang iniwang bagay na alam mong may malaking epekto sa’yo at di sa lahat ng pagkakataon ang ineexpect mo at ginagawa mo eh tama sa sarili mo at sa kapwa mo.

Road of Acceptance and Forgiveness

Revenge, regret and hatred are the most common feeling of a person who is in pain of sufferings and dissolutions. I’ve seen it with a lot of people surrounds me and being a human I know that in time this emotions will rectify me with an agony to be vanish my self reflection on the future. From the time someone tells me that “ginagawa ko yun para mapansin mo ko eh…” I really don’t know what to say then. Is there any problem with me or with that person? Lot of thing lingers in my mind and I couldn’t explain the feeling I have inside. Is it right to do things which we all know is not right for the sake of making others let know their existence? Why everyone has no satisfaction on things they don’t know if it will affects their lives and to others?

Walking with the same old street going to my office again I wonder all the things happened with the past week and those things which I know will never be back again. The street has been change. Aside from a cool cloud above the road is empty. No shouting, laughing and talking of crowded student besides. I notice too that in every street I walked with I’ve seen the difference of it. And from that thought I know that this street will never be the same with the other street or even if this road is empty like a person you’ve known from a long time, a friend you will stayed in times of trouble or in pain and to the person you’ve been loved with all your heart. “Ginawa ko yun para mapansin mo ko eh…” Why? The question is still in me and I couldn’t find the answer from it. Revenge, regret and hatred is that the answer? Many day passes by and from time to time the questions been answered.

If you’re in pain and you’ve been hurt you really don’t know what will come out with you. Revenge because you’re hurt. Regret because you’ve been fooled and hatred because you don’t want to accept the fact that the thing happens but the good thing is you’ve learn from it. Although it will not erase the picture of it the love is still and been the most good answer for what all my questions.

We love and we’ve been loved. We hurt other and we’ve been hurt. But the most powerful of it is that you accept all the good and bad from that person and you’ve learn that loving someone need not to wait for anything in return. Sacrificing is not the key on it rather acceptance and forgiveness.

Light On Me!

Saturday, April 4, 2009 - “Congratulations! You’re one step closer to Boracay! You’re one of the chosen few who have been invited to attend one-day Go-See on April 4, 2009, today at the Manor in Eastwood. Be there from 9am to 6pm.Don’t forget to bring your swimwear and six labels of Century Tuna. Good luck and see you there.” Again, a text message I receive last morning of April 4, 2009 which on that time I’m packing up my things for my holy week vacation at Pamapanga. As I remember last time I said that I couldn’t get in to the semis akalain mo humabol pa. I didn’t expect the text message. At wala na talaga sa plano ko na maghabol sa contest na yun. Di ba nga? Sabi ko nga next time na lang eh. Pero siyempre magisip din ako. Pero ang pinili ko ang tumuloy sa Pampanga. Kasi yun naman na talaga ang plano ko before that contest. Saka for sure tinatry lang ako ni Nicodemo kung pipiliin ko ba sya o ang contest. Matagal ko na plano ang Holy week para kay Nico. Siguro alam nyo naman na yun. And I’m not regretting na pinili ko na tumuloy sa Pampanga kasi maraming nagbukas na pinto para sa mga bagay-bagay na dapat kong malaman at ng maliwanagan na din sa kung anong mas mahalaga sa buhay.

Sunday, April 5, 2009 – Palm Sunday! Kasama sila Elen at Tosh nagsimba kami. Kakaiba kasi may prusisyon din and ang dami talagang tao. After eh kumain kami sa Razon ng kakaibang halo-halo at palabok together with Glen.

Monday, April 6, 2009 – Holy Monday! Pahinga lang sa kubo ng umaga. Ay nga pala kinuha namin yung karo sa pinaghiraman namin. Maganda yung sinakyan ni Mang Nico na yun. At napaka bait ng nagpahiram.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 – Ahhhh pumunta ng Dangwa para mamili ng mga bulaklak na gagamitin. Kasama si Tosh at Elen. Pero bago yun nag Bisita Iglesia na rin kami sa mga simbahan sa Manila. Siyempre kasama na rin yung pag gala. At picture picture konti na mejo madami hehehe..Masaya at nakakapagod. 1am ng Wednesday na kami nakabalik ng Pampanga. Ang lupit ng inantay namin para makasakay ng Bus.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009 – Birthday ni mama. Kaso di naman ako nakapunta kasi nga start na ng event yun. Super busy ang lahat. Sa pag ayos ng karo ni pati yung pagisip kung anong karosa at bulaklak ang gagamitin ni Lolo Jose ang daming suggestions at comments ang nadinig ko. Pero nauwi din sa inarkila na karo na ang may ari eh taga Sasmuan, Pampanga at plastik na bulaklak. Si lolo Jose sya yung St. Joseph of Arimathea like Nicodemo pareho silang pabor kay Jesus. At ang pagkakaalam ko sya ang may hawak ng Holy Grail na daming theory na lumabas at nilathala sa mga libro. At nga pala, labas ni Nico e Friday lang at si Lolo Jose eh Wednesday and Friday. Sa prusisyon, gaya dati at naging sakit na kada taon ang mamatay ang ilaw ni Lolo Jose. Walang palya yun simula ng ipinrusisyon sya eh ganun palagi. Kahit anong test ang gawin sa generator na gamit ganun pa din. Okay kapag la pa event pag andyan na ayun nagloloko na. Buti na lang dalawa ang generator kasi nga yung isa para kay Mang Nico. Kaya yun muna ang ginamit nung time na yun. Pinagbigyan naman kami ni Lolo Jose na magkailaw sya hanggang matapos ang prusisyon. After, ayun naging isyu ulit ang pagkawala na naman ng ilaw ni Lolo Jose. May mga nagsabi na sakit na talaga nya yun. Ako naman at ang barkada naisip na may dahilan kung bakit ganun na lang palagi ang nangyayari. Sabi pa nga namin na its something to do with LIGHT. Light? Oo nga yun nga ang gusto nya ipahiwatig. Pero para kanino? At bakit? Napaisip ako. At alam ko na may gusto sya ding sabihin sa akin at para sa lahat. Bigla ko ding naisip na sa tanang labas ni Lolo Jose never syang nadasalan bago mag start ang prusisyon at puro palagi na lang yung itsura nya at ayos ng karosa ang ginagawa ng lahat at pinagtutuunan ng pansin. Di kaya dahil sa ganun kaya na lang ganun na namamatayan sya ng ilaw?

Thursday, April 9, 2009 – Nagattend kami ng mass. Maganda ang mass kasi washing of the feet ang tema. Saka napaka ganda ng presentation at turo ng pari. At sobra ko ding pinagdasal ang unang labas ni Mang Nico sa darating na Friday. Kasi sobrang kabado na excited ang pakiramdam ko that time.

Friday, April 10, 2009 – Eto na ang araw ni Mang Nico! Lahat ng ayos nya approve sakin pati yung green na motif nya sa bulaklak pinanindigan ko kahit na yung iba ayaw kasi parang dahon lang daw. Sa damit? Ayos na ayos. Husay ang taga ayos niya. Si Joey Boy. Sya din yung nag aayos kay Lolo Jose. 5:45pm nilabas na sya at pinakita sa mga tao. Super kabado ako kahit pa na alam ko na magiging okay ang lahat. Ganun naman talaga pag first time eh. Mag seseven pm start ng prusisyon. Binuksan ang generator. Gumana. Si Lolo Jose? Parang ayaw pa sumindi ng ilaw. Nilapitan ko sya. Sinabi ko na “Lo si Mang Nico okay ang ilaw sana ikaw din”. Si mang Tisyo, may ari ng generator, binaba nya at inayos ng konti. Gumana at agad na kinabit sa karo. Ayos kasi may ilaw na sya. Pero alam nyo ba na still may gustong ipahiwatig ang dalawa. Pano kasi pareho silang walang spotlight. I mean parehong di gumana ang spotlight nila. Light pa din nadagdagan lang ng spot. Till now nakakapagtaka pa din yun at may kilabot na nararamdaman.

Saturday, April 11, 2009 – Black Saturday! Morning naglinis at binalik ang karo sa may ari. Gabi nagpunta kami sa Guagua para sa salubong dun. Naging okay naman ang lahat. Medyo nagkaasaran lang. Pero naging okay din. After nun, deretso kami sa San Isidro. Hinabol namin ang salubong na super ang galing tapos may fireworks pa.

Sunday, April 12, 2009 – Easter! Hanapan ng itlog? Hehehe.. Pahinga sobra ang naging tema ng Sunday. Time to go back to the real world. Sa Manila. 6pm kami umuwi. Nakatayo sa bus kasi mahirap sumakay at mga 9:30pm sa bahay na kami. This day I’ve learn so much. Bukod sa faith ko. Pati na rin sa love. Dapat pala minsan kelangan mo ring magbigay di lang yung puro ikaw ang binibigyan. Kasi darating ung time na yung nagbibigay sa’yo eh magsasawa. Saka sa love walang pagalingan at walang paramihan ng na achieve kasi kung ano yung meron at wala ang isa pareho lang kayong meron at wala din nun. Ang success ng love mo success mo na din.

mp4, 3gp, mpeg, avi - What's this?

"Hi Im Ruel from Century Superbods and superbrains, just want to let you know that your video you've sent to us is not valid. Could you please check it again and send it back for your entry on the contest." I receive the call last week. Actually after shooting the video I was not in the mood ‘cause I am tired then from my work.

Someone ask me to join in the contest which lives my intention to earn money. I tried to re-shoot the video again but then things couldn’t work out. After shooting the second video I need to change the .asf foramat of the video to.3gp, .mp4 or .mpeg file. Quite not okay to do. It requires time for me to do it. And besides malay ko sa mga file na yun. Ano ba yun? But anyway as a promise to the call I still to do it. I’ll just send another video this last April 1.The video which I don’t know if it works. hehe. Pero ok lang naman. There’s no harm in trying nga di ba? Bukas na yung last day ng contest. At sa Saturday ang go-see. Dun na pipiliin ang magiging finalist. And I’m still not yet included on the semi-finalist. I’m not sad or disappointed then. The good thing is that I tried and do the rush on making the video. Nakakatawa kasi alam ng family ko na sumali ako.hehe and nakita ko yung support nila. Tapos dami pang bloopers ng video na nakakatawa talaga. That 40 seconds video is really a cool one. Although di sya naging winning video pero for me it make a million times winning sa saya na naidulot nun.

Kaya mga friends ko wait nyo pa mga updates ko dito sa Journal ko. Hehehe.

Nga pala holy week na. Asa pampanga ako starting on Saturday hanggang April 12. Excited ako kay Mang Nico.Hehehe. Busy ako nun. Kaya kita na lang ulit tayo.

Hey, Again?!!!

Hey, Again?!!!

Mix feeling and I couldn’t imagine that I’m doing it again. It’s been so long then since the last time I do this. Although many tells me that I have the guts for this is just that I still couldn’t attached to it so much maybe it complicates my work. Di ko alam.

I think that was six years ago since I tried to be one of the contestant from a prestigious clothing line body contest. The pictorials I’ve been through and those undertakings to be one of it are really a tiring and a mix emotion of doubt and happiness. Working out and be more of conscious on what you look like and those comment from your family and friends which the hardest part of it tells me that why am I doing this? Pabiro ko pa nga sasabihin na “jam sumali ako sa bikini contest ng _______” tawa lang at tanong na “bakit?” ang sagot but they don’t know na sumali talaga ko. After a call telling me that I passed the first step and inviting me to a go-see event it makes my worth tells that I can do it also even if I don’t have any person supports me. The sad part is at the time of the event I’m not there. I don’t know what’s on me and many times I do such thing of not finishing what I’ve already started. How stupid am I, Right? But the real reason is that I don’t have any family or friends to come along. I know kasalanan ko kasi sinekreto ko. So, ayun walang nangyari and I decided not to come and declined the invitation. Sayang pero tapos na eh. Nu pa magagawa ko. After that the last contest I’ve joined in eh yung sa Photo Contest. Not that to tiring kasi photo lang yun. Magpapasa lang thru net ng picture mo. Kaso walang kwentang contest pala. You can’t call really a contest for me.

Now I’m planning to do it again in other way around but still it looks almost the same just like the “AGAIN” I called it. Promise I will update you on it in some other time. For now, let’s enjoy life with what God given us. Morning and have a happy weekend to all.

Walking Alone

Lots of here maybe walking alone without knowing where to go or where they should go, a question linger in my mind. Can we really walk with the real meaning of being alone?

As I’ve watched the movie “Jesus of Nazareth”. I notice that Jesus never walk alone. Aside from having disciples, people who believes and some fellows who helps Him thru His journey still He never put to His mind that He’s alone. Maybe that’s why he never had sin all His life. My mind tells me to walk like Him but this question still in me.

It’s so easy for us to say that being alone could be stress out by the way you think life is. If you think you’re alone then you are but if you think you’re not then you’re not. While eating Sugo (mani yun mas masarap sa growers nyo hehehe) and watching the movie I noticed that many times on that movie I see lots of people seen Jesus miracles and lots of people walking with Him adores Him and really believes in Him. The time he lays His hands on to the cross I thought that Jesus walk alone on that time. Where are the people I’ve seen from the start? Does it explain that walking alone fails Him? Or it contributes on to others who walk alone too? On the end part of the movie and my last piece of my sugo(masakit na sa dila e hehehe) a narrator talks. I’ve been amaze the way he explain the question. I never thought that on that time my question will be answered that fast.

He said “sa lahat ng mga taong nangangamba at buong buhay na may takot magtiwala ka sa Kanya at ikaw ay kanyang sasamahan, ‘di ka nag-iisa at walang oras na Ika’y kanyang iiwanan”. …walang maliit at malaking kasalanan sa Kanya.. Magtiwala ka…at ika’y Kanyang patatawarin”.

Maybe it’s too harsh to say that it couldn’t hit me hard but it is. Some would say that “ano ba yun?” For me it only means that walking alone never exist and never been my path to choose because the real meaning of it is Him.

Minsan - Madalas by Cain Morales

Minsan may bagay na darating sa’yo
Minsan din may pangyayari na di mo akalain
Madalas nga yung bagay na yun di tama
Madalas pa nga yung panyayaring yun akala mo mali

Minsan tama, madalas mali
Tama ba na lahat ng minsan eh tama
At lahat ng mali eh madalas

Ikaw na nandiyan sa tama
Alam mo ba na ang mali ay ang inaakala mo darating sa’yo?
At ikaw na nandiyan sa mali
Alam mo ba na ang tama ay ang pangyayaring dumating na?

Sa bawat mali na madalas mong ginagawa
Alam mo rin ba na sa ibang tao eh tama ito?
At sa bawat tama na minsan mong ginawa
Alam mo rin ba na sa isip ng iba madalas mo itong ginagawa?

Nung maisip mo na tama ka at mali ako
Naisip mo rin ba na di lang ako ang mali?
Nung minsan na magkasama tayo alam mo ba ang mga mali ko
Eh nung madalas tayo magkasama alam mo ba mga ginawa kong tama?

Sa bawat araw na dumating ang madalas kong isipin ay ang bawat mong nararamdaman
Sa oras na darating pa tama na sakin na minsan mong maisip na nandito ako.
At sa bawat araw na darating pa alam ko na may mas maganda pang darating
At sa bawat oras na darating pa alam mo na nandito lang ako.

Why Do We Need To Lie?

Everyone have this feeling wherein you couldn’t easily tell what’s really on your mind. Sometimes you just need to lie or do thing or tell something that makes it easy to understand, on the other hand why is it many times we need to complicate things? Is it really a human instinct to lie? And complicate things?

I mean it and I can say it that I’m one of them for a reason that I really don’t know. I just know the consequences of lying. It may ruin a friend life, destroy a family and trust on people as well as to God. Am I correct?

Okay I will explain my side, for me lying has been my way of releasing my stress on things that complicates my life. Oops!!! Why is it like that? Many questions will grow on my manner of reasoning, I know that and I know also that you didn’t agree with me. Just want to tell all my friends and to you to that I’m sincerely sorry for lying and complicate thing that complicates you to understand me. Sooner or later, promise I will do my best not to do that again and in time I’ll correct all the mistakes I’ve done.

UPDATE KO : Mang Nico's Blessing

Ah lapit na ang blessing ni Mang Nico..Kasabay nya si Lolo Jose.. March 14, 2009, 4pm sa Dau Chruch, Pampanga. Papakilala ko na sya. Invited ko kayo lahat hehehe.. Pero don't expect na ganun ka bongga ang blessing kasi lam nyo na...hehehe.. Di naman importante yun di ba? Ang mahalaga blessed na sya.

Wala sa family kong aatend. Di ko alam. Para kasing wala lang naman sa kanila na meron akong na achieve na ganun. Quite sad and dissapointing but on the other part masaya 'cause lot of my friends still appreciate it.

Magaanak pa nga ako sana ng binyag nun kaso di p'edeng wala ako sa blessing nya. Ayoko mawala. Tagal ko kaya hinintay yun. Di naman ako excited noh? lol..Hey medyo lang!!! hehehe..

Regarding sa darating na holyweek. Okay naman na..

May karosa na. Hiniram sa isang malapit na kaibigan. At sana di na magbago ng isip. Sa damit naman may nag sponsor para sa susuotin nya. Sa mga bulaklak bahala na. Pero madali na siguro yun.

Di ko pa din alam kung meron sa family ko na makikiprusisyon. Pero im still hoping. Siguro naman, diba? Wala naman silang gagawin nun for sure. Unless kung mag-a-outing sila na tradisyon na din ng family ko pag hoylweek. O kaya naman kanya-kanya ng lakad. Or manuod ng buong season ng smalville o kaya naman ng prison break na gawain ko din dati pag holyweek.Hehehe.

Hope to see all you there.....