Revenge, regret and hatred are the most common feeling of a person who is in pain of sufferings and dissolutions. I’ve seen it with a lot of people surrounds me and being a human I know that in time this emotions will rectify me with an agony to be vanish my self reflection on the future. From the time someone tells me that “ginagawa ko yun para mapansin mo ko eh…” I really don’t know what to say then. Is there any problem with me or with that person? Lot of thing lingers in my mind and I couldn’t explain the feeling I have inside. Is it right to do things which we all know is not right for the sake of making others let know their existence? Why everyone has no satisfaction on things they don’t know if it will affects their lives and to others?
Walking with the same old street going to my office again I wonder all the things happened with the past week and those things which I know will never be back again. The street has been change. Aside from a cool cloud above the 
road is empty. No shouting, laughing and talking of crowded student besides. I notice too that in every street I walked with I’ve seen the difference of it. And from that thought I know that this street will never be the same with the other street or even if this road is empty like a person you’ve known from a long time, a friend you will stayed in times of trouble or in pain and to the person you’ve been loved with all your heart. “Ginawa ko yun para mapansin mo ko eh…” Why? The question is still in me and I couldn’t find the answer from it. Revenge, regret and hatred is that the answer? Many day passes by and from time to time the questions been answered.
If you’re in pain and you’ve been hurt you really don’t know what will come out with you. Revenge because you’re hurt. Regret because you’ve been fooled and hatred because you don’t want to accept the fact that the thing happens but the good thing is you’ve learn from it. Although it will not erase the picture of it the love is still and been the most good answer for what all my questions.
We love and we’ve been loved. We hurt other and we’ve been hurt. But the most powerful of it is that you accept all the good and bad from that person and you’ve learn that loving someone need not to wait for anything in return. Sacrificing is not the key on it rather acceptance and forgiveness.
Saturday, April 4, 2009 - “Congratulations! You’re one step closer to Boracay! You’re one of the chosen few who have been invited to attend one-day Go-See on April 4, 2009, today at the Manor in Eastwood. Be there from 9am to 6pm.Don’t forget to bring your swimwear and six labels of Century Tuna. Good luck and see you there.” Again, a text message I receive last morning of April 4, 2009 which on that time I’m packing up my things for my holy week vacation at Pamapanga. As I remember last time I said that I couldn’t get in to the semis akalain mo humabol pa. I didn’t expect the text message. At wala na talaga sa plano ko na maghabol sa contest na yun. Di ba nga? Sabi ko nga next time na lang eh. Pero siyempre magisip din ako. Pero ang pinili ko ang tumuloy sa Pampanga. Kasi yun naman na talaga ang plano ko before that contest. Saka for sure tinatry lang ako ni 
Nicodemo kung pipiliin ko ba sya o ang contest. Matagal ko na plano ang Holy week para kay Nico. Siguro alam nyo naman na yun. And I’m not regretting na pinili ko na tumuloy sa Pampanga kasi maraming nagbukas na pinto para sa mga bagay-bagay na dapat kong malaman at ng maliwanagan na din sa kung anong mas mahalaga sa buhay.
Sunday, April 5, 2009 – Palm Sunday! Kasama sila Elen at Tosh nagsimba kami. Kakaiba kasi may prusisyon din and ang dami talagang tao. After eh kumain kami sa Razon ng kakaibang halo-halo at palabok together with Glen.
Monday, April 6, 2009 – Holy Monday! Pahinga lang sa kubo ng umaga. Ay nga pala kinuha namin yung karo sa pinaghiraman namin. Maganda yung sinakyan ni Mang Nico na yun. At napaka bait ng nagpahiram.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009 – Ahhhh pumunta ng Dangwa para mamili ng mga bulaklak na gagamitin. Kasama si Tosh at Elen. Pero bago yun nag Bisita Iglesia na rin kami sa mga simbahan sa Manila. Siyempre kasama na rin yung pag gala. 
At picture picture konti na mejo madami hehehe..Masaya at nakakapagod. 1am ng Wednesday na kami nakabalik ng Pampanga. Ang lupit ng inantay namin para makasakay ng Bus.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009 – Birthday ni mama. Kaso di naman ako nakapunta kasi nga start na ng event yun. Super busy ang lahat. Sa pag ayos ng karo ni pati yung pagisip kung anong 
karosa at bulaklak ang gagamitin ni Lolo Jose ang daming suggestions at comments ang nadinig ko. Pero nauwi din sa inarkila na karo na ang may ari eh taga Sasmuan, Pampanga at plastik na bulaklak. Si lolo Jose sya yung St. Joseph of Arimathea like Nicodemo pareho silang pabor kay Jesus. At ang pagkakaalam ko sya ang may hawak ng Holy Grail na daming theory na lumabas at nilathala sa mga libro. At nga pala, labas ni Nico e Friday lang at si Lolo Jose eh Wednesday and Friday. Sa prusisyon, gaya dati at naging sakit na kada taon ang mamatay ang ilaw ni Lolo Jose. Walang palya yun simula ng ipinrusisyon sya eh ganun palagi. Kahit anong test ang gawin sa generator na gamit ganun pa din. Okay kapag la pa event pag andyan na ayun nagloloko na. Buti na lang dalawa ang generator kasi nga yung isa p
ara kay Mang Nico. Kaya yun muna ang ginamit nung time na yun. Pinagbigyan naman kami ni Lolo Jose na magkailaw sya hanggang matapos ang prusisyon. After, ayun naging isyu ulit ang pagkawala na naman ng ilaw ni Lolo Jose. May mga nagsabi na sakit na talaga nya yun. Ako naman at ang barkada naisip na may dahilan kung bakit ganun na lang palagi ang nangyayari. Sabi pa nga namin na its something to do with LIGHT. Light? Oo nga yun nga ang gusto nya ipahiwatig. Pero para kanino? At bakit? Napaisip ako. At alam ko na may gusto sya ding sabihin sa akin at para sa lahat. Bigla ko ding naisip na sa tanang labas ni Lolo Jose never syang nadasalan bago mag start ang prusisyon at puro palagi na lang yung itsura nya at ayos ng karosa ang ginagawa ng lahat at pinagtutuunan ng pansin. Di kaya dahil sa ganun kaya na lang ganun na namamatayan sya ng ilaw?
Thursday, April 9, 2009 – Nagattend kami ng mass. Maganda ang mass kasi washing of the feet ang tema. Sa
ka napaka ganda ng presentation at turo ng pari. At sobra ko ding pinagdasal ang unang labas ni Mang Nico sa darating na Friday. Kasi sobrang kabado na excited ang pakiramdam ko that time.
Friday, April 10, 2009 – Eto na ang araw ni Mang Nico! Lahat ng ayos nya approve sakin pati yung green na motif nya sa bulaklak pinanindigan ko kahit na yung iba ayaw kasi parang dahon lang daw. Sa damit? Ayos na ayos. Husay ang taga ayos niya. Si Joey Boy. Sya din yung nag aayos kay Lolo Jose. 5:45pm nilabas na sya at pinakita sa mga tao. Super kabado ako kahit pa na alam ko na magiging okay ang lahat. Ganun naman talaga pag first time eh. Mag seseven pm start ng prusisyon. Binuksan ang generator. Gumana. Si Lolo Jose? Parang ayaw pa sumindi ng ilaw. Nilapitan ko sya. Sinabi ko na “Lo si Mang Nico okay ang ilaw sana ikaw din”. Si mang Tisyo, may ari ng generator, binaba nya at inayos ng konti. Gumana at agad na kinabit sa karo. Ayos kasi may ilaw na sya. Pero alam nyo ba na still may gustong ipahiwatig ang dalawa. Pano kasi pareho silang walang spotlight. I mean parehong di gumana 
ang spotlight nila. Light pa din nadagdagan lang ng spot. Till now nakakapagtaka pa din yun at may kilabot na nararamdaman.
Saturday, April 11, 2009 – Black Saturday! Morning naglinis at binalik ang karo sa may ari. Gabi nagpunta kami sa Guagua para sa salubong dun. Naging okay naman ang lahat. Medyo nagkaasaran lang. Pero naging okay din. After nun, deretso kami sa San Isidro. Hinabol namin ang salubong na super ang galing tapos may fireworks pa.
Sunday, April 12, 2009 – Easter! Hanapan ng itlog? Hehehe.. Pahinga sobra ang naging tema ng Sunday. Time to go back to the real world. Sa Manila. 6pm kami umuwi. Nakatayo sa bus kasi mahirap sumakay at mga 9:30pm sa bahay na kami. This day I’ve learn so much. Bukod sa faith ko. Pati na rin sa love. Dapat pala minsan kelangan mo ring magbigay di lang yung puro ikaw ang binibigyan. Kasi darating ung time na yung nagbibigay sa’yo eh magsasawa. Saka sa love walang pagalingan at walang paramihan ng na achieve kasi kung ano yung meron at wala ang isa pareho lang kayong meron at wala din nun. Ang success ng love mo success mo na din.
"Hi Im Ruel from Century Superbods and superbrains, just want to let you know that your video you've sent to us is not valid. Could you please check it again and send it back for your entry on the contest." I receive the call last week. Actually after shooting the video I was not in the mood ‘cause I am tired then from my work.
Someone ask me to join in the contest which lives my intention to earn money. I tried to re-shoot the video again but then things couldn’t work out. After shooting the second video I need to change the .asf foramat of the video to.3gp, .mp4 or .mpeg file. Quite not okay to do. It requires time for me to do it. And besides malay ko sa mga file na yun. Ano ba yun? But anyway as a promise to the call I still to do it. I’ll just send another video this last April 1.The video which I don’t know if it works. hehe. Pero ok lang naman. There’s no harm in trying nga di ba? Bukas na yung last day ng contest. At sa Saturday ang go-see. Dun na pipiliin ang magiging finalist. And I’m still not yet included on the semi-finalist. I’m not sad or disappointed then. The good thing is that I tried and do the rush on making the video. Nakakatawa kasi alam ng family ko na sumali ako.hehe and nakita ko yung support nila. Tapos dami pang bloopers ng video na nakakatawa talaga. That 40 seconds video is really a cool one. Although di sya naging winning video pero for me it make a million times winning sa saya na naidulot nun.
Kaya mga friends ko wait nyo pa mga updates ko dito sa Journal ko. Hehehe.
Nga pala holy week na. Asa pampanga ako starting on Saturday hanggang April 12. Excited ako kay Mang Nico.Hehehe. Busy ako nun. Kaya kita na lang ulit tayo.
road is empty. No shouting, laughing and talking of crowded student besides. I notice too that in every street I walked with I’ve seen the difference of it. And from that thought I know that this street will never be the same with the other street or even if this road is empty like a person you’ve known from a long time, a friend you will stayed in times of trouble or in pain and to the person you’ve been loved with all your heart. “Ginawa ko yun para mapansin mo ko eh…” Why? The question is still in me and I couldn’t find the answer from it. Revenge, regret and hatred is that the answer? Many day passes by and from time to time the questions been answered.
